Kieran has nightmares. What kid doesn't? I think Mia's been having a few but can't really express that just yet.
This morning, Ken was away and I had already taken my shower and was getting dressed when I heard a knock on my door. Kieran came in and said he'd had another nightmare.
Sat down with him on the bed, asked if he wanted to tell me about it. Nodded, he did.
"We were walking to school and you and I were talking about how monsters weren't real."
I nodded.
"Then I asked - well, what about the guy who comes to my school and hypnotises us? You said - oh him? He's real."
Hypnotizes? Weird, but okay.... I ask about this. Kieran says, yes the guy looked like a zombie and used a pocketwatch to hypnotize his school so the kids would hit one another.
We talk for a bit about why nightmares happen (worried about stuff). Also I told him that if I were going to hynpotize his school, I'd have them come help us clean house. Then I realize that's a lot of people and my house can't hold them all. So I say maybe just his class, not the whole school.
Which makes him laugh.
After talking about being stressed out, it comes out he is worried because of something that happened last week. He was walking up the stairs and witnessed a bullying of another student. Two older students then turned to Kieran and told Kieran to hit the kid they were bullying. Instead, Kieran hit one of the older kids and raced up the steps.
We talked about why this was not his best choice, what other options he had. But all-in-all I'm not upset or angry with him. He did not hit out of anger, he did not beat upon this kid, just panicked, hit and ran. I sent an email to his teacher about this, beacuse I wanted someone at the school to be aware. I don't really want Kieran getting in trouble for this. It was not the best decision but it was the one he chose. He doesn't know the other kids and it may never have come back around on him, but I felt it was important to be upfront with the school about it, partially as a precautionary and partially as a lesson to always let the adults know about any bullying you witness.
I am hoping that he does OK today. He complained that he didn't want to go to school - that he had a headache, that his hand hurt, etc. He's definitely worried. Poor kid.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Convoluted, but (Somewhat) Effective
So long since I had any time to post. Sorry about that. Following up from previous post....
Kieran had a one-day out-of-school suspension (a very big deal, permanent record crap) and we cleaned house. All. Day. Long. Oh, and he had school work to do when he wasn't cleaning. He did not like it (which, of course, was the point).
Last year after a run of bad days at school, they implemented a point system for him where he could earn a variety of things as he hit different 'levels' he could earn points, but not have them taken away. So we talked a lot about instituting a similar system at home.
Kieran kept trying to add rules and ideas to it. His complete program was some kind of weird looking Escher painting (but in flowchart form, if I had bothered to flowchart it at all). I scaled back from what he wanted to do and came up with the following:
Green is worth one point, everything above that has additional points to it up to 5 points each day. Going below green puts him at negative points up to negative 5. He can also earn additional points each day for his magnet chart. 3 magnets equals one point (are you following all this?). Ability to receive up to 2 additional poitns via magnets each day.
He can earn prizes in three different ways.
1. Daily or weekly he has to hit a certain level to be able to do specific things. Daily - 3 points to get dessert or an extra book at bedtime. 5 points and he can have both. 10 points earned during the week gets him into the bag of mystery at the end of the week.
2. Levels - we set up specific levels for him to reach to get certain priviledges. 50 points was earning his Pokemon cards back, for example.
3. Buy with points - he also wanted to be able to 'cash in' his points for special things. A trip to a local dessert place, a toy of his choosing, etc. He just took advantage of his first 'buy with points' item to buy Snackeez for him and his sister.
So far, it's done fairly well. He's still having some issues with control and we're working to find another therapist for him. But his general demeanor has been better and he and I are getting along better as well.
Soon, I should have some fun Halloween photos for you. This past month has been insane with the number of things going on. I am looking forward to the holiday slowdown.
Kieran had a one-day out-of-school suspension (a very big deal, permanent record crap) and we cleaned house. All. Day. Long. Oh, and he had school work to do when he wasn't cleaning. He did not like it (which, of course, was the point).
Last year after a run of bad days at school, they implemented a point system for him where he could earn a variety of things as he hit different 'levels' he could earn points, but not have them taken away. So we talked a lot about instituting a similar system at home.
Kieran kept trying to add rules and ideas to it. His complete program was some kind of weird looking Escher painting (but in flowchart form, if I had bothered to flowchart it at all). I scaled back from what he wanted to do and came up with the following:
Green is worth one point, everything above that has additional points to it up to 5 points each day. Going below green puts him at negative points up to negative 5. He can also earn additional points each day for his magnet chart. 3 magnets equals one point (are you following all this?). Ability to receive up to 2 additional poitns via magnets each day.
He can earn prizes in three different ways.
1. Daily or weekly he has to hit a certain level to be able to do specific things. Daily - 3 points to get dessert or an extra book at bedtime. 5 points and he can have both. 10 points earned during the week gets him into the bag of mystery at the end of the week.
2. Levels - we set up specific levels for him to reach to get certain priviledges. 50 points was earning his Pokemon cards back, for example.
3. Buy with points - he also wanted to be able to 'cash in' his points for special things. A trip to a local dessert place, a toy of his choosing, etc. He just took advantage of his first 'buy with points' item to buy Snackeez for him and his sister.
So far, it's done fairly well. He's still having some issues with control and we're working to find another therapist for him. But his general demeanor has been better and he and I are getting along better as well.
Soon, I should have some fun Halloween photos for you. This past month has been insane with the number of things going on. I am looking forward to the holiday slowdown.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Where's the Respect?
I'm writing this because I am freaking out (yet again) about Kieran's behavior. Yesterday was horrid. Partially his issue, partially mine. I got so angry with him that I spanked him, hard. Just once but I hated it.
His disrespect for me is off the charts. Ignoring me, playing around, unable to control himself.
Now, today, I got a call from the principal. First one this year, so yay for that. But....
Yesterday, he was chanting "I'm gonna touch your privates" then proceeded to touch other kids' (yes, plural) in their privates. One was a girl, the other a boy who just did it right back to him. He is aware that he is not to be touching anyone else's privates. He's now due for either a 5 day in-school detention or a one-day suspension. If he touches anyone else again like that, he could be in for a long-term suspsension. I don't think he understands just how serious this could be. Life affecting serious. I'm also of half a mind to ask for leniency with the school, but I don't know how well it would go over given his history of not keeping his hands to himself. And showing his butt to others in the bathroom.
I told the principal to have Kieran talk with the school therapist again, and that Ken and I will address this with him at home. He was going to therapy, I thought he was done, but obviously he is not. Unsure where we'll turn at this point given his therapist moved somewhere else and I'm not sure he'd open up to anyone new.
Just upset and frustrated and wondering if my grandparents are looking down at this and laughing their asses off. Because while I was not a violent kid, generally speaking, I did have a temper and I did things that made sense to me at the time that now, as an adult, I cringe to know I did.
I'm getting some books from the library that I hope will help as well and talking with other parents who may have dealt with issues similar to this. At my wits end today and continue to hope that we can turn a corner. I don't want to medicate my kid. I really don't. I'm giving serious consideration to removing 99% of TV/screen time from him and his sister as well as trying to eliminate sugar from his diet (the second is ridiculously difficult, especially given what he eats).
Not even sure what the at-home punishment for this will be. It ain't gonna pretty in the Gauvey household for a while.
And with that thought, I'm done.
His disrespect for me is off the charts. Ignoring me, playing around, unable to control himself.
Now, today, I got a call from the principal. First one this year, so yay for that. But....
Yesterday, he was chanting "I'm gonna touch your privates" then proceeded to touch other kids' (yes, plural) in their privates. One was a girl, the other a boy who just did it right back to him. He is aware that he is not to be touching anyone else's privates. He's now due for either a 5 day in-school detention or a one-day suspension. If he touches anyone else again like that, he could be in for a long-term suspsension. I don't think he understands just how serious this could be. Life affecting serious. I'm also of half a mind to ask for leniency with the school, but I don't know how well it would go over given his history of not keeping his hands to himself. And showing his butt to others in the bathroom.
I told the principal to have Kieran talk with the school therapist again, and that Ken and I will address this with him at home. He was going to therapy, I thought he was done, but obviously he is not. Unsure where we'll turn at this point given his therapist moved somewhere else and I'm not sure he'd open up to anyone new.
Just upset and frustrated and wondering if my grandparents are looking down at this and laughing their asses off. Because while I was not a violent kid, generally speaking, I did have a temper and I did things that made sense to me at the time that now, as an adult, I cringe to know I did.
I'm getting some books from the library that I hope will help as well and talking with other parents who may have dealt with issues similar to this. At my wits end today and continue to hope that we can turn a corner. I don't want to medicate my kid. I really don't. I'm giving serious consideration to removing 99% of TV/screen time from him and his sister as well as trying to eliminate sugar from his diet (the second is ridiculously difficult, especially given what he eats).
Not even sure what the at-home punishment for this will be. It ain't gonna pretty in the Gauvey household for a while.
And with that thought, I'm done.
Monday, September 08, 2014
Fart Land - Part 2
So Kieran had been begging me for Adventures in Fart Land Part Two and it took me a bit to noodle on where we could go from the first part of the story. I promised him that I would write all the parts down in case he ever wanted to share these stories with his own kids one day. He also gave our characters names.
Mikie, Mike and Micki are our Fart Land inhabitants. They promised not to fart in Fart Land to make it smell better but soon realized that, eventually, everyone needs to fart. Not wanting to let their friends down, they would fart inside things and seal them up - like buckets or holes in the ground.
Then Mikie needs to go to the beach and grabs a bucket to make a sandcastle. UGH, the smell is horrible when he pulls off the lid. Fart Land overall still smells OK but a little bit worse.
Mike begins digging a hole for a tree he wants to plant and hits a fart pocket. Blech! Fart Land begins to smell even worse.
Then, poor Micki, she went to find something in a shed out back and WHAM, the last of the pent-up farts are released and Fart Land once again smells of farts.
End of part 2.
I do hope you all are enjoying this boy-centric saga as much as Kieran is. He also has suggested that people from Fart Land come to visit us in 'this dimension' and when they fart, it explodes from their tushes and causes trees to fall over dead. Oh, 7-year-old boy humor. How I've missed you.... :)
Love to all, blog again sometime.
PS - Mia does not know the Fart Land saga, she continues to request princess stories. And demands everything she owns to be pink or purple. *sigh*
Mikie, Mike and Micki are our Fart Land inhabitants. They promised not to fart in Fart Land to make it smell better but soon realized that, eventually, everyone needs to fart. Not wanting to let their friends down, they would fart inside things and seal them up - like buckets or holes in the ground.
Then Mikie needs to go to the beach and grabs a bucket to make a sandcastle. UGH, the smell is horrible when he pulls off the lid. Fart Land overall still smells OK but a little bit worse.
Mike begins digging a hole for a tree he wants to plant and hits a fart pocket. Blech! Fart Land begins to smell even worse.
Then, poor Micki, she went to find something in a shed out back and WHAM, the last of the pent-up farts are released and Fart Land once again smells of farts.
End of part 2.
I do hope you all are enjoying this boy-centric saga as much as Kieran is. He also has suggested that people from Fart Land come to visit us in 'this dimension' and when they fart, it explodes from their tushes and causes trees to fall over dead. Oh, 7-year-old boy humor. How I've missed you.... :)
Love to all, blog again sometime.
PS - Mia does not know the Fart Land saga, she continues to request princess stories. And demands everything she owns to be pink or purple. *sigh*
Friday, September 05, 2014
Adventures in Fart Land
Just had to share this quick story.
Last night Kieran was unable to sleep because of something he'd seen on TV. He was worried about waking up in the darkness and 'seeing eyes appear'. Even with a small night light on. I knew he needed a short story that would distract him from his fear. Below is the story I told Kieran... the tale, of Fartland.
There were three friends who lived in Fartland. All of them agreed, it stunk. One had a bright idea to find a flower to make the place smell better. Off he went in search of the largest flower he could find. He found a century plant, which only blooms once every 100 years. He planted it and then they waited. And waited. And waited.
Everyone agreed that this plant was not giong to bloom anytime soon. So the second friend went out and thought, 'Well, if the largest flower didn't work, maybe the smallest one would.'. So off he went and found milisecond flowers. They were tiny but, they bloomed and died so quickly - pop, pop, pop - that their fragrance did not last more than a half a milisecond.
The last friend decided that something in the middle would be ideal. So he found dwarf sunflowers and planted those. They bloomed and worked wonderfully. Except that it just made Fartland smell like flowers and farts. Finally, the first friend said, "You know, we should probably stop farting in Fartland."
And they did. And Fartland no longer smelled of farts.
The end.
PS - yes, the story worked and now Kieran wants to hear Adventures in Fartland part 2.
Last night Kieran was unable to sleep because of something he'd seen on TV. He was worried about waking up in the darkness and 'seeing eyes appear'. Even with a small night light on. I knew he needed a short story that would distract him from his fear. Below is the story I told Kieran... the tale, of Fartland.
There were three friends who lived in Fartland. All of them agreed, it stunk. One had a bright idea to find a flower to make the place smell better. Off he went in search of the largest flower he could find. He found a century plant, which only blooms once every 100 years. He planted it and then they waited. And waited. And waited.
Everyone agreed that this plant was not giong to bloom anytime soon. So the second friend went out and thought, 'Well, if the largest flower didn't work, maybe the smallest one would.'. So off he went and found milisecond flowers. They were tiny but, they bloomed and died so quickly - pop, pop, pop - that their fragrance did not last more than a half a milisecond.
The last friend decided that something in the middle would be ideal. So he found dwarf sunflowers and planted those. They bloomed and worked wonderfully. Except that it just made Fartland smell like flowers and farts. Finally, the first friend said, "You know, we should probably stop farting in Fartland."
And they did. And Fartland no longer smelled of farts.
The end.
PS - yes, the story worked and now Kieran wants to hear Adventures in Fartland part 2.
Tuesday, September 02, 2014
Like Riding a Bike
For those that get most of your family news via Facebook (and that's most, if not all of you), you know that this weekend, Kieran finally mastered the 2 wheel bike.
He knew how to ride with training wheels when he was about 4 or so, but last summer we got him a bike without training wheels. He was pretty frustrated with it and several weekends were either too hot to go out or I was with both kids so could not help him learn.
Fast forward to this year, where we now know he needs to learn to balance first, then work on pedaling. He's been taking his bike out about one weekend each month (at most) and riding down some small hills in the park. I was watching him on Saturday and realized he really has the balancing thing down.
"Hey Kieran," I call out. "Try pedaling next time you go down."
He looks a bit surprised, but when he brings his bike back up the hill, I tell him how he knows how to balance, it's now time for him to try pedalling. I told him that he should wait until he's about halfway down the hill. And he does. And he takes off like a shot.
That was all it took. He's been on his bike ever since. Asking each morning when we got up this weekend if he could go ride.
Unforutnately, Ken was out most of the weekend at a Kendo tournament and did not get to see Kieran's first few times around. When Ken finally got back on Monday, Kieran was more than happy to ride around and show Ken what he learned.
Also unfortunately, like riding a bike, Kieran's temper flared up on Friday. He got on role model with his teacher, even though he missed Fun Friday activity (I did not realize he had 2 homework books to check each night and we missed his spelling homework). So he was already grumpy when he went over to Fitness Fun and Games. While there, one of his friends made fun of him the two of them traded words and then Kieran pushed him. For that, Kieran was sent back inside. When that happened, he called the teacher a "dick". He felt his punishment was far worse than his crime.
He's been reprimanded by us, and by Fitness Fun and Games. I/Ken also has to talk with the director as the teacher told Kieran that he would not be able to come back (i.e. he was getting kicked out) but did not tell me or Ken this. I'm pretty pissed this teacher would basically threaten my kid like that. Don't get me wrong, Kieran's got to respect people in charge (he doesn't, not even me sometimes) and calling this guy names is not acceptable in my book - ever. That does not give this guy the right to tell Kieran he can't come back. If that's going to happen, they need to tell me & Ken FIRST and let us decide what to do from there. I did let Kieran know that behavior of this kind will not be tolerated and that it can lead to him being kicked out of the program. He gets that he made some bad choices and will work towards a better resolution.
I've also decided that I need to communicate better with him and am going to get the "How to talk so your children will listen..." book as well as look at others along those lines. I may also try to get more books for him on respect. His intellect gets him into trouble as he thinks himself equal to the adults and can't understand why what he believes to be true isn't the way of the world.
Also like riding a bike, we've moved Amelia over to Goddard School (where Kieran went). Hopefully only for one year and then to Kieran's school for PreK. It's her first day there and I'll have to get used to the many differences of this school from her previous daycare as well as the difference of this school from Kieran's school.
OK that's enough for now. Love to all, blog again eventually.
He knew how to ride with training wheels when he was about 4 or so, but last summer we got him a bike without training wheels. He was pretty frustrated with it and several weekends were either too hot to go out or I was with both kids so could not help him learn.
Fast forward to this year, where we now know he needs to learn to balance first, then work on pedaling. He's been taking his bike out about one weekend each month (at most) and riding down some small hills in the park. I was watching him on Saturday and realized he really has the balancing thing down.
"Hey Kieran," I call out. "Try pedaling next time you go down."
He looks a bit surprised, but when he brings his bike back up the hill, I tell him how he knows how to balance, it's now time for him to try pedalling. I told him that he should wait until he's about halfway down the hill. And he does. And he takes off like a shot.
That was all it took. He's been on his bike ever since. Asking each morning when we got up this weekend if he could go ride.
Unforutnately, Ken was out most of the weekend at a Kendo tournament and did not get to see Kieran's first few times around. When Ken finally got back on Monday, Kieran was more than happy to ride around and show Ken what he learned.
Also unfortunately, like riding a bike, Kieran's temper flared up on Friday. He got on role model with his teacher, even though he missed Fun Friday activity (I did not realize he had 2 homework books to check each night and we missed his spelling homework). So he was already grumpy when he went over to Fitness Fun and Games. While there, one of his friends made fun of him the two of them traded words and then Kieran pushed him. For that, Kieran was sent back inside. When that happened, he called the teacher a "dick". He felt his punishment was far worse than his crime.
He's been reprimanded by us, and by Fitness Fun and Games. I/Ken also has to talk with the director as the teacher told Kieran that he would not be able to come back (i.e. he was getting kicked out) but did not tell me or Ken this. I'm pretty pissed this teacher would basically threaten my kid like that. Don't get me wrong, Kieran's got to respect people in charge (he doesn't, not even me sometimes) and calling this guy names is not acceptable in my book - ever. That does not give this guy the right to tell Kieran he can't come back. If that's going to happen, they need to tell me & Ken FIRST and let us decide what to do from there. I did let Kieran know that behavior of this kind will not be tolerated and that it can lead to him being kicked out of the program. He gets that he made some bad choices and will work towards a better resolution.
I've also decided that I need to communicate better with him and am going to get the "How to talk so your children will listen..." book as well as look at others along those lines. I may also try to get more books for him on respect. His intellect gets him into trouble as he thinks himself equal to the adults and can't understand why what he believes to be true isn't the way of the world.
Also like riding a bike, we've moved Amelia over to Goddard School (where Kieran went). Hopefully only for one year and then to Kieran's school for PreK. It's her first day there and I'll have to get used to the many differences of this school from her previous daycare as well as the difference of this school from Kieran's school.
OK that's enough for now. Love to all, blog again eventually.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Yuck
Ugh. I stink, can't believe it's been over a month (nearly two) since I blogged. So many of you keep up with us via Facebook, but that' can't really detail the things that happen over time.
Kieran continues to be an amazing big brother. And a great sleeper. Thank goodness for the second (and the first, really) because last night Mia woke up at midnight screaming crying. She got sick and kept crying off and on for an hour until she fell back asleep. No idea how he slept through that but really glad he did.
Anyway, school has started for Kieran - 2nd grade. Can't quite wrap my mind around how fast he is growing up. Seems like yesterday he was upset leaving the comfort of Goddard for his new school. Now Mia will be moving to Goddard before she (hopefully) starts at the same school as Kieran next year. I have officially put her on the list.
So much has happened over the summer. Kieran has done very well with his temper and controling his outbursts, I am hopeful this will continue into school - we'll see. He is in love with mini golf and is looking forward to swim lessons again.
I am embarrassed to say that Amelia still does not know her alphabet. She does not seem interested in learning either. We're hoping the move to Goddard will help her with this (along with our continued asking of what letters are which). I'm convinced she's getting away with a lot at her existing daycare where they love her but I know she's not behaving well (she hits friends, and doesn't listen). When we're trying to work on things at home she gets 'cute' and obviously thinks she can not answer questions by doing it. Frustrating as hell.
Have I mentioned that I don't like the three year old phase? When you know they understand you but just don't care enough to control their little 'id'? Just 10 more months, right?
OK, now that Mia is resting from last night's sickness, I feel better about tonight. I am hopeful she is past whatever was bothering her belly.
Love to all, blog again... um, one day.
Kieran continues to be an amazing big brother. And a great sleeper. Thank goodness for the second (and the first, really) because last night Mia woke up at midnight screaming crying. She got sick and kept crying off and on for an hour until she fell back asleep. No idea how he slept through that but really glad he did.
Anyway, school has started for Kieran - 2nd grade. Can't quite wrap my mind around how fast he is growing up. Seems like yesterday he was upset leaving the comfort of Goddard for his new school. Now Mia will be moving to Goddard before she (hopefully) starts at the same school as Kieran next year. I have officially put her on the list.
So much has happened over the summer. Kieran has done very well with his temper and controling his outbursts, I am hopeful this will continue into school - we'll see. He is in love with mini golf and is looking forward to swim lessons again.
I am embarrassed to say that Amelia still does not know her alphabet. She does not seem interested in learning either. We're hoping the move to Goddard will help her with this (along with our continued asking of what letters are which). I'm convinced she's getting away with a lot at her existing daycare where they love her but I know she's not behaving well (she hits friends, and doesn't listen). When we're trying to work on things at home she gets 'cute' and obviously thinks she can not answer questions by doing it. Frustrating as hell.
Have I mentioned that I don't like the three year old phase? When you know they understand you but just don't care enough to control their little 'id'? Just 10 more months, right?
OK, now that Mia is resting from last night's sickness, I feel better about tonight. I am hopeful she is past whatever was bothering her belly.
Love to all, blog again... um, one day.
Monday, June 09, 2014
Got the Keys? Stories of How I Have Lost My Mind
This past weekend I locked me and the kids out of the house. For five hours.
Thank goodness we live in the City and we could walk where we needed. I was packing up for a trip to the pool at our park, planning to hit up the dollar store beforehand to grab toys, already had the water bottle filled with ice cubes and some fruit strips for snack set in the bag. I remembered looking at the keys and thinking I needed to grab them and throw them in the bag. We walk out the front door and Kieran asks, "Got the keys?"
And I cringe. Because I know in that moment, I do not. Thankfully, I had my cell phone. Ken was at the local Kendo tournament in Annapolis so I left him a voicemail and texted him to be sure I used all methods of communication. Then, I just headed out. We did what we had planned to do. Dollar store? Check. Two and a half hours of pool time? Check. Hour and a half of playground time? Check.
Stressed mom? Check.
Anyway, it wasn't bad at all, kids were troopers and we went to Red Robin for dinner (I know, I know the kitchen was done but we hadn't gone grocery shopping yet). We had a good day and no harm, no foul.
But, poor Kieran. This had happened just a few weeks before. Ken was working and I took the kids out to the JCC in Owings Mills - about a half-hour away to hang at the pool. We were there for about four hours when I knew it was time to pack it up and head home. We get changed into our clothes and I pat my pockets down for my house keys. I have the car key, no problem. it's the house key that's missing. We spend the next 30 minutes looking for the keys. No joy. Kieran's upset but I let him know it's not a big deal, even if I've been freaking out about it, mostly it's just an inconvenience, and we'll be able to get new keys. We get to the car, I sit down in the drivers seat, exhausted.
Only to realize I'm sitting on the keys. Yep, spend 30 minutes looking for keys that were in my back pocket.
On the happier side of things, we've got a great Father's Day planned (an Orioles game) next weekend and Amelia's party the weekend after that (just a little picnic in the park). Looking forward to the next few months with a new kitchen, hopefully produce from our garden and just generally having fun in the sun.
Thank goodness we live in the City and we could walk where we needed. I was packing up for a trip to the pool at our park, planning to hit up the dollar store beforehand to grab toys, already had the water bottle filled with ice cubes and some fruit strips for snack set in the bag. I remembered looking at the keys and thinking I needed to grab them and throw them in the bag. We walk out the front door and Kieran asks, "Got the keys?"
And I cringe. Because I know in that moment, I do not. Thankfully, I had my cell phone. Ken was at the local Kendo tournament in Annapolis so I left him a voicemail and texted him to be sure I used all methods of communication. Then, I just headed out. We did what we had planned to do. Dollar store? Check. Two and a half hours of pool time? Check. Hour and a half of playground time? Check.
Stressed mom? Check.
Anyway, it wasn't bad at all, kids were troopers and we went to Red Robin for dinner (I know, I know the kitchen was done but we hadn't gone grocery shopping yet). We had a good day and no harm, no foul.
But, poor Kieran. This had happened just a few weeks before. Ken was working and I took the kids out to the JCC in Owings Mills - about a half-hour away to hang at the pool. We were there for about four hours when I knew it was time to pack it up and head home. We get changed into our clothes and I pat my pockets down for my house keys. I have the car key, no problem. it's the house key that's missing. We spend the next 30 minutes looking for the keys. No joy. Kieran's upset but I let him know it's not a big deal, even if I've been freaking out about it, mostly it's just an inconvenience, and we'll be able to get new keys. We get to the car, I sit down in the drivers seat, exhausted.
Only to realize I'm sitting on the keys. Yep, spend 30 minutes looking for keys that were in my back pocket.
On the happier side of things, we've got a great Father's Day planned (an Orioles game) next weekend and Amelia's party the weekend after that (just a little picnic in the park). Looking forward to the next few months with a new kitchen, hopefully produce from our garden and just generally having fun in the sun.
Wednesday, June 04, 2014
Disarray
I feel as though our life has been in complete disarray for a long period of time. It began with needing to replace our washer and dryer. Our laundry room is on the 3rd floor of our house, and they originally got our units in via a crane. Not gonna do that again. So, we had to go with a smaller unit and busted up our stairs to get the old units out.
Then, when we finally got a new unit in, we found a pipe driping in our kitchen. Repaired but the wall (interior) looked really bad and needed to come down. Honestly our entire kitchen needed a revamp. So, we bit the bullet and did it. We got away as cheaply as we could while still investing in quality. Off-the-shelf cabinetry, lower-cost granite countertops, scratch-n-dent appliances. But the bottom line was that we had no kitchen for the past month and that we lived with LOTS of things sitting in our living room, no space to eat in the house, eating out and basically living with too much stuff everywhere.
Now, the kitchen is nearly complete, my many thanks to my mom for helping us do this. Countertops are in, everything is hooked up and working (mostly) and we have just a few more minor items to attend. Unfortunately, as he hooked up our sink and dishwasher, our plumber noticed that the pipes under our house are OLD as in, probably from the 50s or earlier, old. Need replacing within 6 months. That's gas and water lines. Oy. Joys of homeownership, right?
The kids have been amazing troopers during this, but I know it's been a long time when Kieran asks "when are we going to stop going out to eat?". We were able to have our first 'meal' in the kitchen last night - pasta. It wasn't much, but it made me ridiculously happy to not have to eat someone else's cooking (besides Ken's) for once.
So, kiddos update....
Mia has hit the really terrible part of being (almost) 3. She has realized she is an independent being and can actively resist me. "No" is her favorite word and when she decides she dosen't want to go somewhere she'll run away from me, when I catch her she'll go boneless to make it harder for me to pick her up. *sigh* I know this, too, shall pass. But it can't be soon enough.
She's also hit the cuteness factor of giving hugs and kisses to show affection. She's great with the animals (still not 100% on Devin but she does give him kisses now and again) and continues to mimic her brother, to his consternation.
Kieran has been amazing these past few weeks. His doctor told us we could go at least a month between treatments and see how that goes, given he has repsonded so well so far. His doctor believes the issue to be with Executive Function (impulse control among other things) and that's a part of the brain we can exercise a bit. So, no medication, just keeping on what we're doing. I'm excited and sad for him at the end of this school year. His teacher this year has been AMAZING and I just hope he gets someone nearly as dedicated next year. I've been trying to figure out what to get her as an end-of-year gift and Kieran came home with a piece he did on her. It was a fill-in-the-blank to future students. What struck me (and Ken) as funny was at the end it said "When she gets made she...." and he wrote "Needs coffee." So, I guess I know what I'll give her, now!
Love to all, blog again soon. Hopefully with new kitchen and 1st grade 'graduation' photos.
Then, when we finally got a new unit in, we found a pipe driping in our kitchen. Repaired but the wall (interior) looked really bad and needed to come down. Honestly our entire kitchen needed a revamp. So, we bit the bullet and did it. We got away as cheaply as we could while still investing in quality. Off-the-shelf cabinetry, lower-cost granite countertops, scratch-n-dent appliances. But the bottom line was that we had no kitchen for the past month and that we lived with LOTS of things sitting in our living room, no space to eat in the house, eating out and basically living with too much stuff everywhere.
Now, the kitchen is nearly complete, my many thanks to my mom for helping us do this. Countertops are in, everything is hooked up and working (mostly) and we have just a few more minor items to attend. Unfortunately, as he hooked up our sink and dishwasher, our plumber noticed that the pipes under our house are OLD as in, probably from the 50s or earlier, old. Need replacing within 6 months. That's gas and water lines. Oy. Joys of homeownership, right?
The kids have been amazing troopers during this, but I know it's been a long time when Kieran asks "when are we going to stop going out to eat?". We were able to have our first 'meal' in the kitchen last night - pasta. It wasn't much, but it made me ridiculously happy to not have to eat someone else's cooking (besides Ken's) for once.
So, kiddos update....
Mia has hit the really terrible part of being (almost) 3. She has realized she is an independent being and can actively resist me. "No" is her favorite word and when she decides she dosen't want to go somewhere she'll run away from me, when I catch her she'll go boneless to make it harder for me to pick her up. *sigh* I know this, too, shall pass. But it can't be soon enough.
She's also hit the cuteness factor of giving hugs and kisses to show affection. She's great with the animals (still not 100% on Devin but she does give him kisses now and again) and continues to mimic her brother, to his consternation.
Kieran has been amazing these past few weeks. His doctor told us we could go at least a month between treatments and see how that goes, given he has repsonded so well so far. His doctor believes the issue to be with Executive Function (impulse control among other things) and that's a part of the brain we can exercise a bit. So, no medication, just keeping on what we're doing. I'm excited and sad for him at the end of this school year. His teacher this year has been AMAZING and I just hope he gets someone nearly as dedicated next year. I've been trying to figure out what to get her as an end-of-year gift and Kieran came home with a piece he did on her. It was a fill-in-the-blank to future students. What struck me (and Ken) as funny was at the end it said "When she gets made she...." and he wrote "Needs coffee." So, I guess I know what I'll give her, now!
Love to all, blog again soon. Hopefully with new kitchen and 1st grade 'graduation' photos.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
My Little Brony
So, Kieran may never live this post down, but I'm doing it anyway. In our never-ending search for things that both kids will watch, we came across the newly-revamped My Little Pony. Kieran became a quick addict of it and went back to watch the show from it's (new) beginning a few years ago via Netflix. Mia's OK with it, but not as excited.
When I asked him why he liked it, he talked about the fact that he's probably the only boy who does like it. Which is when I explained the term Brony to him and assured him he was not alone in liking the show. But he hadn't answered my question... just what did he like about it? The adventures, he repsonded.
I thought about it. The show does have a bit of a D&D quality to it. Each team member has their own special power/ability/contribution and each epsiode they have a quest or problem to resolve. If it wasn't in pink and purple shades, I'd bet more boys would flock to it. I love my son for liking what he likes - making no bones about it. He knows he could be teased for it, and he doesn't care. I love that about him.
On another note, we had our second meeting with his new doctor. He's given us some games to play with Kieran - ways to keep track of his anger issues and ways to work on his concentration/attention. Kieran likes the game that Ken came up with - a Sherlock Holmes style game where we have him turn around and then close his eyes. We'll ask him questions like 'how many blue cars did you see?' he loves this game and requests we do it (and then it's my or Ken's turn).
The doctor also said that Kieran fencing is OK because it does not use hitting or punching. If Kieran is able to control his temper throughout the summer at karate camp, we can discuss re-starting his martial arts lessons.
He's had a few good weeks - a bit of craziness, but nothing with a huge blowout. We'll keep at it and see how it goes. Just found out that the teacher he was dying to have as his 2nd grade teacher is going back into the PreK rooms. He was not happy, but understood this was something out of everyone's control. And that maybe his sister would then be able to have her as a teacher, and he liked that idea.
OK back to work for me.
When I asked him why he liked it, he talked about the fact that he's probably the only boy who does like it. Which is when I explained the term Brony to him and assured him he was not alone in liking the show. But he hadn't answered my question... just what did he like about it? The adventures, he repsonded.
I thought about it. The show does have a bit of a D&D quality to it. Each team member has their own special power/ability/contribution and each epsiode they have a quest or problem to resolve. If it wasn't in pink and purple shades, I'd bet more boys would flock to it. I love my son for liking what he likes - making no bones about it. He knows he could be teased for it, and he doesn't care. I love that about him.
On another note, we had our second meeting with his new doctor. He's given us some games to play with Kieran - ways to keep track of his anger issues and ways to work on his concentration/attention. Kieran likes the game that Ken came up with - a Sherlock Holmes style game where we have him turn around and then close his eyes. We'll ask him questions like 'how many blue cars did you see?' he loves this game and requests we do it (and then it's my or Ken's turn).
The doctor also said that Kieran fencing is OK because it does not use hitting or punching. If Kieran is able to control his temper throughout the summer at karate camp, we can discuss re-starting his martial arts lessons.
He's had a few good weeks - a bit of craziness, but nothing with a huge blowout. We'll keep at it and see how it goes. Just found out that the teacher he was dying to have as his 2nd grade teacher is going back into the PreK rooms. He was not happy, but understood this was something out of everyone's control. And that maybe his sister would then be able to have her as a teacher, and he liked that idea.
OK back to work for me.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Following Up
Several people have reached out to me (Thank you one and all) to remind me that what is going on with Kieran is not mine or Ken's fault. That we're doing the good parenting job of finding help and addressing this issue now instead of later.
Anyway, we had our first appointment but haven't really had a full-on counseling session as of yet. Kieran likes the doctor (and so do I). He seems nice enough and is definitely trying to get a sense of everything that's going on.
Kieran's got another appointment this Thursday and it's killing me that I can't be there. So far, since his appointment, he's been pretty good overall. Had one red day last week but the rest were green and role model (parents will know what I'm talking about).
With all that going on, we're also remodeling our kitchen - ugh. I can't wait to cook a meal again!
Anyway, we had our first appointment but haven't really had a full-on counseling session as of yet. Kieran likes the doctor (and so do I). He seems nice enough and is definitely trying to get a sense of everything that's going on.
Kieran's got another appointment this Thursday and it's killing me that I can't be there. So far, since his appointment, he's been pretty good overall. Had one red day last week but the rest were green and role model (parents will know what I'm talking about).
With all that going on, we're also remodeling our kitchen - ugh. I can't wait to cook a meal again!
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Putting It Out There
I'm having an insane day. I'm watching/managing a virtual event, responding to ongoing chats, hosting presentations, posting recorded presentations and watching Facebook because that's how I can communicate with Ken.
And, on this continually crazy day, Kieran had another incident at school. Thankfully, they are not suspending him, but he has 2 days of detention. He was disrespectful to the janitor - again. I'm frustrated and upset and more than at my wits' end here. We've set Kieran up to have an appointment with a therapist. We mentioned it to him before, but now we do have an appointment on the books. It's scary and frustrating and feels like failure.
I struggled with whether or not to blog about this. I don't want him labeled as a 'troubled' kid. I know that as he grows older that it is possible that people will be able to view this content and, perhaps, use it against him. But I want our culture to change. I want people who go to therapy, who get help, NOT to have a stigma attached to them. So, I'm starting with my own kid. Who is awesome and wonderful. But who also has issues that we as parents have not been able to help him curtail.
He does things like sit with his sister and keep her occupied so we can put dinner on the table. Or he'll ask her to chase him when she's getting clingy or hug her for no reason at all. He wants to help animals of all kinds. To be a superhero. To fight bad guys. To play with his friends (he set up his own playdate last weekend).
He also does things like this. Where he is disrespectful, hurtful and mean. He can throw punches, push and get so angry he can't talk. We began reading a book about controlling his anger, but I'm not 100% sure that anger management is really the issue.
So, soon he'll go and meet with someone who I hope can help us all. Because this, these gut reactions, aren't good for him. They aren't good for us. And I know he is capable of so much more. I don't expect him to be perfect 100% of the time - no one is. But this is a recurring issue enough that I feel we haven't gotten through to him.
And it's OK for us (and him) to ask for (and get) help. There is no shame in this though I feel horribly failed as a parent that I cannot help him. But I hope to feel empowered once we have some new strategies and ideas from the therapist.
I hope anyone reading this who is considering help thinks about what they want for themselves (or their kid) long-term. And I hope it helps.
And, on this continually crazy day, Kieran had another incident at school. Thankfully, they are not suspending him, but he has 2 days of detention. He was disrespectful to the janitor - again. I'm frustrated and upset and more than at my wits' end here. We've set Kieran up to have an appointment with a therapist. We mentioned it to him before, but now we do have an appointment on the books. It's scary and frustrating and feels like failure.
I struggled with whether or not to blog about this. I don't want him labeled as a 'troubled' kid. I know that as he grows older that it is possible that people will be able to view this content and, perhaps, use it against him. But I want our culture to change. I want people who go to therapy, who get help, NOT to have a stigma attached to them. So, I'm starting with my own kid. Who is awesome and wonderful. But who also has issues that we as parents have not been able to help him curtail.
He does things like sit with his sister and keep her occupied so we can put dinner on the table. Or he'll ask her to chase him when she's getting clingy or hug her for no reason at all. He wants to help animals of all kinds. To be a superhero. To fight bad guys. To play with his friends (he set up his own playdate last weekend).
He also does things like this. Where he is disrespectful, hurtful and mean. He can throw punches, push and get so angry he can't talk. We began reading a book about controlling his anger, but I'm not 100% sure that anger management is really the issue.
So, soon he'll go and meet with someone who I hope can help us all. Because this, these gut reactions, aren't good for him. They aren't good for us. And I know he is capable of so much more. I don't expect him to be perfect 100% of the time - no one is. But this is a recurring issue enough that I feel we haven't gotten through to him.
And it's OK for us (and him) to ask for (and get) help. There is no shame in this though I feel horribly failed as a parent that I cannot help him. But I hope to feel empowered once we have some new strategies and ideas from the therapist.
I hope anyone reading this who is considering help thinks about what they want for themselves (or their kid) long-term. And I hope it helps.
Monday, April 07, 2014
Frustrating but Still Wonderful
I've been remiss in blogging, but in my defense things have been insane. My grandmother died at the end of February and while it was not 100% unexpected the 'business of death' was. The going through of the things, the figuring out what goes where. Making sure my mom did not have to do this alone. Many commented on my help and my response was the same - just because my mom was an only child does not mean she should have to do this alone.
At times it was hard, getting rid of things we knew meant much to her but would not mean as much to anyone else (the 5 or 10 years worth of knitting magazines she had) was hard. Finding about 20 different pairs of gloves - 1 in EVERY jacket as well as several others, including opera gloves she had not worn in 15 years was funny (as was the balled up tissues found everywhere). I kept a few things, Kieran actually asked for a few things as well and I am happy to have them in my house. I wear a necklace that she did nearly every day and it makes me smile.
So there was that.
Kieran's up and down temperament came to a head when he punched a teacher. Yes, you read that right. So, we're at our wits end and have reached out to get additional support. It is frustrating and feels like we have failed him as parents, though I know that we have done what we can. He knows what to do, but his temper just gets the best of him. Hopefully, a fresh set of eyes and ears will help us and put Kieran on a path to better behavior overall and less physical reactions. I cannot begin to express how upset I am at the whole thing, but I am trying to look forward and not backwards.
Amelia's doing well, though very defiant. She's getting somewhat better (though I admit the difference is microscopic, at best) but she still responds with "no" a lot. She gets the "I wasn't asking" response from me a lot. A daddy's girl at heart, she will let Ken comb her hair without issue. But I put a comb to her head and you would think that I was hurting her just by holding it in my hand.
This past weekend was Ken and my 17th wedding anniversary. Ken went to a tournament in Cleveland. Originally, we were all supposed to go and I was going to take the kids to see a friend, but unfortunately that fell through. Though, after sitting in the car with Amelia for an hour and a half on Friday (traffic) I can honestly say I am grateful for how it played out. Ken came home Sunday and we celebrated at a restaurant. It was fun and quiet.
Because Ken was gone, I ran the kids ragged all weekend - Friday night after school/work Kieran had a good day so we went to the rec center's Fun Friday. Mia was so tired afterwards she didn't even want bedtime stories, just a chance to sleep. Saturday we spent an hour and a half at the playground, followed by lunch, followed by the Fairtale Festival at the main branch of the library (which requires a bus ride). By the end of the day, Mia again was exhausted (so was Kieran) but both had a great time. Saturday night, however, was AWFUL. Amelia slept fine from 7-10 pm but was then up off and on until 2:30 AM. She woke up at 6. I had to get up at 5 to be sure I could shower before the kids woke up. So I was no fun on Sunday. There was a lot of yelling involved until Ken got home and I could get Kieran out of the house (Mia refused to go anywhere after shopping, but also would not nap for me). Some time at the playground followed by the dinner out was just what the doctor ordered. Everyone slept well last night.
Now, back to our crazy everyday lives. Sorry it's been awhile. I still need to post some newer pics of the kids. I will endeavor to do that in the next month.
At times it was hard, getting rid of things we knew meant much to her but would not mean as much to anyone else (the 5 or 10 years worth of knitting magazines she had) was hard. Finding about 20 different pairs of gloves - 1 in EVERY jacket as well as several others, including opera gloves she had not worn in 15 years was funny (as was the balled up tissues found everywhere). I kept a few things, Kieran actually asked for a few things as well and I am happy to have them in my house. I wear a necklace that she did nearly every day and it makes me smile.
So there was that.
Kieran's up and down temperament came to a head when he punched a teacher. Yes, you read that right. So, we're at our wits end and have reached out to get additional support. It is frustrating and feels like we have failed him as parents, though I know that we have done what we can. He knows what to do, but his temper just gets the best of him. Hopefully, a fresh set of eyes and ears will help us and put Kieran on a path to better behavior overall and less physical reactions. I cannot begin to express how upset I am at the whole thing, but I am trying to look forward and not backwards.
Amelia's doing well, though very defiant. She's getting somewhat better (though I admit the difference is microscopic, at best) but she still responds with "no" a lot. She gets the "I wasn't asking" response from me a lot. A daddy's girl at heart, she will let Ken comb her hair without issue. But I put a comb to her head and you would think that I was hurting her just by holding it in my hand.
This past weekend was Ken and my 17th wedding anniversary. Ken went to a tournament in Cleveland. Originally, we were all supposed to go and I was going to take the kids to see a friend, but unfortunately that fell through. Though, after sitting in the car with Amelia for an hour and a half on Friday (traffic) I can honestly say I am grateful for how it played out. Ken came home Sunday and we celebrated at a restaurant. It was fun and quiet.
Because Ken was gone, I ran the kids ragged all weekend - Friday night after school/work Kieran had a good day so we went to the rec center's Fun Friday. Mia was so tired afterwards she didn't even want bedtime stories, just a chance to sleep. Saturday we spent an hour and a half at the playground, followed by lunch, followed by the Fairtale Festival at the main branch of the library (which requires a bus ride). By the end of the day, Mia again was exhausted (so was Kieran) but both had a great time. Saturday night, however, was AWFUL. Amelia slept fine from 7-10 pm but was then up off and on until 2:30 AM. She woke up at 6. I had to get up at 5 to be sure I could shower before the kids woke up. So I was no fun on Sunday. There was a lot of yelling involved until Ken got home and I could get Kieran out of the house (Mia refused to go anywhere after shopping, but also would not nap for me). Some time at the playground followed by the dinner out was just what the doctor ordered. Everyone slept well last night.
Now, back to our crazy everyday lives. Sorry it's been awhile. I still need to post some newer pics of the kids. I will endeavor to do that in the next month.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Book Love
This past weekend we went to our library. We had about 10 books to return, I needed a book club book (and to pay off my fines!), and the Friends of the Library was having a book giveaway/book sale.
So, we get there and as usual, Kieran makes a beeline for the computer to go play games. I let him do that for about 5 minutes before I cajole him downstairs to look at the books. We can each take two free books as well as purchase any additional books for 50 cents each. Kieran quickly finds four books he wants. Mia looks at all the books, talks to all the people there and then picks up a book that has a purple cover. I try to convince her to find another book, but no.
So, given that it is free, I let her take the (Shadowrun, Book #3) tome with her. All weekend long she refuses to let it out of her grip and on Sunday begins to 'read' it to us. It's a book about pirates, Ariel, dogs or whatever strikes her fancy. She sits with it open, looking at the words on the page and says "Mom, I need to show you this." and points to a page. "It's a dark cave." or "Look at the pirate."
The book is falling apart - and I don't care. It's convinced me that once this book is beyond repair we'll probably have to take her down to our used book store and let her pick out a book that's a few dollars and do it all over again. I want to instill her love of reading.
Kieran reads very well, but he only wants to read a few things - and games win out over reading. I have about six books on order from the library for him, and I would be that he'll run through them very quickly because once he starts a book, it's very fast for him to finish. It's getting him to start that's at issue.
Anyway, just some kid stories to share.
So, we get there and as usual, Kieran makes a beeline for the computer to go play games. I let him do that for about 5 minutes before I cajole him downstairs to look at the books. We can each take two free books as well as purchase any additional books for 50 cents each. Kieran quickly finds four books he wants. Mia looks at all the books, talks to all the people there and then picks up a book that has a purple cover. I try to convince her to find another book, but no.
So, given that it is free, I let her take the (Shadowrun, Book #3) tome with her. All weekend long she refuses to let it out of her grip and on Sunday begins to 'read' it to us. It's a book about pirates, Ariel, dogs or whatever strikes her fancy. She sits with it open, looking at the words on the page and says "Mom, I need to show you this." and points to a page. "It's a dark cave." or "Look at the pirate."
The book is falling apart - and I don't care. It's convinced me that once this book is beyond repair we'll probably have to take her down to our used book store and let her pick out a book that's a few dollars and do it all over again. I want to instill her love of reading.
Kieran reads very well, but he only wants to read a few things - and games win out over reading. I have about six books on order from the library for him, and I would be that he'll run through them very quickly because once he starts a book, it's very fast for him to finish. It's getting him to start that's at issue.
Anyway, just some kid stories to share.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Feh! (A Tribute to Mutti)
My grandmother passed away last week. She was 95. I am exceedingly lucky to have had as many years as I did with her. While she could be difficult, I know she loved me very much.
I'm certain that Kieran's memory of his Oma will fade over time. She kept shushing him and asking him to sit still (not something that he did easily until this past year - and then only with a book or device in his hands). Sadly, Mia will likely not remember her at all, though she has been asking to see her almost daily. I hope that they will at least remember that she loved them, loved their visits and smiles - even if she wanted them to do it quietly.
Mutti (as I called my grandmother) was feisty. A word often used by the staff at Roland Park Place, likely in lieu of 'difficult' or 'pain in the ass' to describe her. As she aged these past few years, she grew more docile. Frankly, the more agreeable she got, the more I worried for her health. And yet the last time I visited her, though she barely spoke and was obviously week, I thought to myself how beautiful she looked. I will carry that memory with me like a treasure.
Her stories are legendary and, while they changed over time, I know that she lived the truth of them. From being robbed on a train and helped by strangers in France (I think) to living in a house of ill repute that would tell her when raids were coming. She was progressive in many ways - she lived 'in sin' with my grandfather for many years and finally proposed to him (spoiler - he said yes). She worked, she volunteered and knitted. While the yarn gene seems to have skipped my mom, I definitely got it and the overall creative gene lives on in my niece, Becca.
I think the thing I'll remember most is the fact that I was (OK, am) such a picky eater that her favorite refrain for me was "Feh! You don't know what's good!" in response to whatever it was I had refused to eat. I'm a significantly more adventurous eater than I was as a kid - but even then I tried things like beef tongue. She cooked a variety of things because my grandfather was a human garbage disposal, he even ate apple cores. Now that I have a picky eater of my own, I will pick up the mantle of forcing him to try a lot of things. I may keep the "Feh!" but I think I'll let him decide for himself what's good.
I'll miss you, Mutti for now and always.
I'm certain that Kieran's memory of his Oma will fade over time. She kept shushing him and asking him to sit still (not something that he did easily until this past year - and then only with a book or device in his hands). Sadly, Mia will likely not remember her at all, though she has been asking to see her almost daily. I hope that they will at least remember that she loved them, loved their visits and smiles - even if she wanted them to do it quietly.
Mutti (as I called my grandmother) was feisty. A word often used by the staff at Roland Park Place, likely in lieu of 'difficult' or 'pain in the ass' to describe her. As she aged these past few years, she grew more docile. Frankly, the more agreeable she got, the more I worried for her health. And yet the last time I visited her, though she barely spoke and was obviously week, I thought to myself how beautiful she looked. I will carry that memory with me like a treasure.
Her stories are legendary and, while they changed over time, I know that she lived the truth of them. From being robbed on a train and helped by strangers in France (I think) to living in a house of ill repute that would tell her when raids were coming. She was progressive in many ways - she lived 'in sin' with my grandfather for many years and finally proposed to him (spoiler - he said yes). She worked, she volunteered and knitted. While the yarn gene seems to have skipped my mom, I definitely got it and the overall creative gene lives on in my niece, Becca.
I think the thing I'll remember most is the fact that I was (OK, am) such a picky eater that her favorite refrain for me was "Feh! You don't know what's good!" in response to whatever it was I had refused to eat. I'm a significantly more adventurous eater than I was as a kid - but even then I tried things like beef tongue. She cooked a variety of things because my grandfather was a human garbage disposal, he even ate apple cores. Now that I have a picky eater of my own, I will pick up the mantle of forcing him to try a lot of things. I may keep the "Feh!" but I think I'll let him decide for himself what's good.
I'll miss you, Mutti for now and always.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Sibling Stuff
This month has been a whirlwind of activity, sickness, new endeavors, new jobs and just general craziness. Amelia has been on a "Mommy" kick since I got back from my trip, which means Kieran has not gotten as much time with me as either of us would like.
Ken has started his own law practice, we both got sick, Kieran got sick, Mia got sick, we had my brother's birthday, Kieran's birthday and a lot of other crazy things. A few things come to mind since last I posted. Kieran (well, mostly me and Ken) raised $635 for the Carrie Murray Nature Center. Kieran's birthday party there was a blast - everyone who said they were going to come did (even with the snow). As a thank you for raising funds, Kieran received a vial of Iberian wolf fur. There are something like 300 of those wolves left in existence. He treasures that.
Here is he with Cupcake the snake. I have a photo of me & Mia holding the snake but it comes out sideways.
See?
Anyway, PJ (who works there and gave us a talk about animals) was the one who got the fur for Kieran. They were really impressed with his giving up gifts in order for the center to get the money.
So, that's Kieran's party. We've all been in somewhat of an ongoing state of sleep deprivation because of sickness (ours, the kids) and though I thought we'd finally come out of it, lo-and-behold last night Kieran had a nightmare that sent him upstairs to us. Ken had him sleep next to him all night (which is never a good night's sleep) and this morning we woke up late. After rushing through my shower and getting dressed, I hear Kieran downstairs in Mia's room. As I walk in her door, I see Mia on the floor, mostly naked with one sock on, Kieran's trying to get the other one on and he's already got clothes laid out for her. He's dressed himself and ready for school.
It was very sweet of him. He wanted to help because he knew that Ken and I were rushing around, late. Even after I was able to help, Kieran wanted to finish what he'd started by getting Mia's shirt on and I finished up with her pants, etc. Mia wanted Kieran to finish getting him dressed (she LOVES him and whatever Kieran is doing, she wants to do - hence the snake handling), but I was in a rush and couldn't wait - plus I think Kieran was ready for me to take over.
Even though he's been angry with her for bogarting my time, he thought enough to help her get dressed. I do hope this love continues throughout their lives. I know they'll piss each other off, that's normal, but underneath I hope there is always this type of love.
Ken has started his own law practice, we both got sick, Kieran got sick, Mia got sick, we had my brother's birthday, Kieran's birthday and a lot of other crazy things. A few things come to mind since last I posted. Kieran (well, mostly me and Ken) raised $635 for the Carrie Murray Nature Center. Kieran's birthday party there was a blast - everyone who said they were going to come did (even with the snow). As a thank you for raising funds, Kieran received a vial of Iberian wolf fur. There are something like 300 of those wolves left in existence. He treasures that.
Anyway, PJ (who works there and gave us a talk about animals) was the one who got the fur for Kieran. They were really impressed with his giving up gifts in order for the center to get the money.
So, that's Kieran's party. We've all been in somewhat of an ongoing state of sleep deprivation because of sickness (ours, the kids) and though I thought we'd finally come out of it, lo-and-behold last night Kieran had a nightmare that sent him upstairs to us. Ken had him sleep next to him all night (which is never a good night's sleep) and this morning we woke up late. After rushing through my shower and getting dressed, I hear Kieran downstairs in Mia's room. As I walk in her door, I see Mia on the floor, mostly naked with one sock on, Kieran's trying to get the other one on and he's already got clothes laid out for her. He's dressed himself and ready for school.
It was very sweet of him. He wanted to help because he knew that Ken and I were rushing around, late. Even after I was able to help, Kieran wanted to finish what he'd started by getting Mia's shirt on and I finished up with her pants, etc. Mia wanted Kieran to finish getting him dressed (she LOVES him and whatever Kieran is doing, she wants to do - hence the snake handling), but I was in a rush and couldn't wait - plus I think Kieran was ready for me to take over.
Even though he's been angry with her for bogarting my time, he thought enough to help her get dressed. I do hope this love continues throughout their lives. I know they'll piss each other off, that's normal, but underneath I hope there is always this type of love.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Happy 7th Birthday, Kieran!
You've grown so much in the past year it's unbelievable. You've got a better handle on your temper and your sassing (sorry, I believe you may have inherited those traits, though the sarcasm was taught). You also know yourself now. You know who you like and who you don't, but still treat those you dislike with courtesy (mostly).
I know your little sister irritates you and you're feeling like she's stealing our time (she is, we won't lie), but you still manage to help out. This morning, for example, when I needed to walk the dog and she wouldn't let me go - there you were asking "Mia, want to play with me?" and then having her chase you around so Devin could get outside. Amazing.
You frustrate me, I won't lie. But it's only because I know just how smart you are. How capable you are and I want so much for you to do more than you think you can do. To stretch what's comfortable and be proud of what you accomplish. I'm always proud of you.
Seven years ago you were born and I sobbed at your 'curly' hair (forgive me, I was drugged). Today you are my little man - taking the world by storm.
Love you oodles and oodles, booger. Forever.
I know your little sister irritates you and you're feeling like she's stealing our time (she is, we won't lie), but you still manage to help out. This morning, for example, when I needed to walk the dog and she wouldn't let me go - there you were asking "Mia, want to play with me?" and then having her chase you around so Devin could get outside. Amazing.
You frustrate me, I won't lie. But it's only because I know just how smart you are. How capable you are and I want so much for you to do more than you think you can do. To stretch what's comfortable and be proud of what you accomplish. I'm always proud of you.
Seven years ago you were born and I sobbed at your 'curly' hair (forgive me, I was drugged). Today you are my little man - taking the world by storm.
Love you oodles and oodles, booger. Forever.
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