Where's the Respect?

I'm writing this because I am freaking out (yet again) about Kieran's behavior. Yesterday was horrid. Partially his issue, partially mine. I got so angry with him that I spanked him, hard. Just once but I hated it.

His disrespect for me is off the charts. Ignoring me, playing around, unable to control himself.

Now, today, I got a call from the principal. First one this year, so yay for that. But....

Yesterday, he was chanting "I'm gonna touch your privates" then proceeded to touch other kids' (yes, plural) in their privates. One was a girl, the other a boy who just did it right back to him. He is aware that he is not to be touching anyone else's privates. He's now due for either a 5 day in-school detention or a one-day suspension. If he touches anyone else again like that, he could be in for a long-term suspsension. I don't think he understands just how serious this could be. Life affecting serious. I'm also of half a mind to ask for leniency with the school, but I don't know how well it would go over given his history of not keeping his hands to himself. And showing his butt to others in the bathroom.

I told the principal to have Kieran talk with the school therapist again, and that Ken and I will address this with him at home. He was going to therapy, I thought he was done, but obviously he is not. Unsure where we'll turn at this point given his therapist moved somewhere else and I'm not sure he'd open up to anyone new.

Just upset and frustrated and wondering if my grandparents are looking down at this and laughing their asses off. Because while I was not a violent kid, generally speaking, I did have a temper and I did things that made sense to me at the time that now, as an adult, I cringe to know I did.

I'm getting some books from the library that I hope will help as well and talking with other parents who may have dealt with issues similar to this. At my wits end today and continue to hope that we can turn a corner. I don't want to medicate my kid. I really don't. I'm giving serious consideration to removing 99% of TV/screen time from him and his sister as well as trying to eliminate sugar from his diet (the second is ridiculously difficult, especially given what he eats).

Not even sure what the at-home punishment for this will be. It ain't gonna pretty in the Gauvey household for a while.

And with that thought, I'm done.