Failing and Redemption

This week has been insane - and not in a good way.

Kieran had a horrible start to the week. After a few solid months of improving behavior, we hit a huge backslide when Kieran began hitting his classmates on Monday. It continued Tuesday. Wednesday, I got a call from the assistant principal - he was not allowed to go to the field trip Thursday and they recommended we create a 'task force' style approach to getting him out of this behavior. Basically, have him see the school psychologist.

I HATED the school psychologist growing up. Was sent there after some creative writing assignments upset the teacher (hey, I was an imaginative kid) and I never understood it and didn't like the person. The idea of sending Kieran to that gives me a lump in my throat, but I don't know what more we can do.

We've talked with him about the golden rule - treat people the way you wanted to be treated. Ask him things like "would you like it if so-and-so hit you?" and the answer is always "no". Then is it OK that you hit? "No"

But he keeps doing it.

According to the teacher he's the only one in the class who is hitting. She's worried that one day someone will hit him back (hard). She and I are starting to believe it may be the only thing that breaks through. We take away toys. We take away privileges. We make him write lines. We banish him to his room until dinner and then straight to bed after. Nothing seems to faze him.

Wednesday night I sat with him after Ken had an even worse day (car hit, ran out of gas, etc) and asked why he was hitting his classmates.

"I want them to look at me and laugh at me."

"You want their attention?" I ask

"Yes."

Hmmm. OK, at least we're getting somewhere. We talk about ways to gain friends and that hitting people is doing the opposite of his intention (make friends).

Thursday he sits with the Kindergarten class. He LOVES it. He learns new things, is very energized and had a WONDERFUL day behavior-wise. This goes back to Ken's theory which is that Kieran has been bored this past year. Unfortunately, I did not feel comfortable asking him to get moved up because I did not believe (and rightly so, given his behavior) that he was socially ready for the next grade up. Perhaps one day he may skip a grade, perhaps not. But at least we had a turnaround. And, I am hopeful, that we'll have more improvement as Ken & I work harder to give Kieran some weekend playdates, more time with his friends outside of school, and more time with us that isn't 100% focused on the baby. So glad the story ended on a better note. Fingers crossed he had a good day today as well.

Mommy Brain

Quick one for you. Though Amelia is doing better this week than she has for the past few weeks (last night she was up only once, at midnight, and slept until 6 AM) I am having trouble with keeping my mind where it needs to be.

Case in point - this morning. Ken took Amelia to daycare, so I was with Kieran, getting him ready for school. I'm frantically packing his lunch, packing my bags, generally getting us ready. I look up at the clock and it's time to go.

We walk to school talking about what makes fog, the caterpillars in his classroom, etc. We get to the street next to his school and there is no crossing guard. I look around - there are no other kids in uniform out. Starting to worry that school is somehow closed (maybe their A/C is out?) and I didn't get the message, we keep walking. Then I stop short - it's not 7:30, but 7 AM. I look at Kieran and tell him my mistake.

Then we head home laughing about Mommy's mix-up.

We get home, I get a cup of coffee and 20 minutes to relax. Kieran gets a 2nd cereal bar. When I tell him its time to go he looks at me and asks "Mommy - are you sure?"

I smile and say "Yes" but secretly check the clock on the wall to verify.

If I Could, I Would

If I could change Mia's sleep habits, I would. If I could make it rain money, I would. If I could remember to clean my glasses each day, I would. Same goes for blogging. So, here's what we've been up to...

Amelia is doing better with nighttime (at least the past 2 nights she did) but I'm not ready to call it just yet (given that the previous 2 weeks she was up at least twice each night). Ken believes if we get her upstairs earlier she may sleep better. Kieran had a 7 PM bedtime when he was little, Mia's been working on a 7:30 or 8PM bedtime. Last two nights we put her to bed earlier and it's been better - she even slept from 7:30 until 6 this morning. So, we'll see how we can work that. It'll be hard, but it's not impossible.

She continues to grow rapidly. She's pulling up and cruising along the furniture (and people). She likes to hug and smile and play peek-a-boo. She adores her big brother.

Big brother's reading is coming along so well that he now reads one book to himself most nights after we go downstairs. It effectively makes his bedtime a little bit later (8:15 or as late as 8:30) but he's very very good about turning off his light and not trying to milk the opportunity.

Kieran started his baseball season this past Saturday and had another game Monday night. The big difference this year is that he's doing coach-pitch (not t-ball). He hit 3 pitches at Monday's game and even though he's the littlest one on his team, he still hits better than half the kids. Maybe that's just my mom-goggles, but I swear it's true.

The funniest Kieran story lately is from his game Monday. Last inning of the game and Kieran was 2nd to last to hit. When the last batter hits, all players on base run home and then the game is over. I see the first base coach lean in to Kieran to tell him to watch the batter and when he hits the ball, run around the bases.

The batter hits and Kieran takes off. He rounds second, third and goes all the way home, only to see the batter still standing there. It was a foul ball - so Kieran is directed back to first base to wait for a real hit. As he runs back to his base I hear him yell "Yay! I get to do it all again!"