The Accident

By now, most of you know that Ken was involved in a pretty serious car accident two weeks ago. Kieran was in the car with him.

Both Kieran and Ken are fine, but the car is a mess.

So, unexpectedly, we have a new car. And it's a stick-shift. Something I have yet to master (though I will, because Ken wants his spot in the parking lot back). *sigh*

Another accident occured this past weekend when Amelia had a poop at the playground. I felt HORRIBLE as we ran home. Kieran was awesome, grabbing the sidewalk chalk we had brought and keeping up with me as I raced back to clean her butt.

Mia was so unhappy, but it comes from her witholding poop (Hey, I feel like we've been down this road before.... Oh right - Kieran did this too. UGH.).

Craziness abounds - still haven't held Kieran's birthday party (I am SOOO sucking at that this year) because we had to cancel after the car accident. Hopefully we'll be able to do this in March or April before it's too far away from his birthday. We sold our kayaks (sniff) because we just did not use them anymore and they took up a ton of space in our small basement.

Oh, and we got a new front door. Huzzah!

Ken got it for me as a surprise (we had talked about getting a door, but had not yet been able to go price things out), but Kieran - who is so much like me sometimes it's scary - let the cat out of the bag. See, I had found the receipt from the door installation folk, so I knew it was coming. But, I had no idea when or what it looked like. However, on Wednesday as I walked Kieran home from school he mentions to me, "Do you think you and dad will pick me up together on Friday?" then, close on the heels of that "Wouldn't it be nice to have a new front door?"

At which point I told him I knew we were getting a new door. He then told me it was coming in that week. Wonder which day I thought it would be?

OK, back to work for me. Love you all, blog again eventually.

Happy (belated) Birthday, January Peeps!

These birthday wishes go to all January birthday celebrants. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Bubbie (aka Dar)
• Ken (aka Daddy/Hubby/Hey You)
• Charles
• Andy
• Debbie (aka Grandma)
• Wendy (not Aunt Wendy, the 'other' Wendy)
• Alan

We called most everyone, but not everyone and I'm certain that I haven't sent at least 2 gifts out. Remember that thing about chickens and heads - yeah.

Anyway *knock wood*, Mia seems to be on the tail end of The Cold That Would Not Die, which means she's back to sleeping through the night. First few weeks of this year have been rough because of that stinking cold.

Kieran's attitude is back in a big way. I need to pick up the "Raising the Spirited Child" that has been recommended to me a few times as I'm certain that my response to him is not the best. He sasses me and I sass back. It escallates - never good for anyone. It's been better, but his listening at school has been pretty bad.

That said, his report card, overall, was very good. Only a few spots to work on (follows directions and works well in groups - both of which we knew). Ken and I decreed that while Kieran is doing well in his triathalon work, he needs a more formal - group - activity and told him he has to go back to fencing. Kieran's actually excited about it and looking forward to his first lesson back tonight. I am hoping that will help him with both working in groups and listening.

It's also about time for us to find some after-school activities for Amelia as well. I'm going to look at dance and gymnastics for her, perhaps some singing as well (she loves to sing). Probably get her signed up this spring for something new.

Finally, I hope to get my phone connected this weekend (I know, so overdue) so I can begin sharing the photos I've taken. One in particular I want to share is Amelia on the guitar. She was signing the ABCs and was really into it. Ken saw the photo and called it her Joan Baez face.

Love to all, blog again soon.

Welcome to 2015

In 2014 Ken started a business, Kieran turned 7, Mia turned 3 and we generally ran around like chickens with our heads cut off.

So, the blogging definitely suffered and I hope to fix that (among other things) in 2015. I hear that if you make resolutions and share them with friends you'll do better keeping them. Before I get into kid updates, I thought I'd share my 2015 resolutions.

1. Get healthier by working out.
I hate working out. I mean Hate, abhor, loathe, want-to-scoop-cat-litter-instead kind of dislike. But, I need to be healthier. I need to get up off my tush not just for my health but so the kids see it and do it too.

2. Less screen time - for everyone.
This is going to be rough but coming to work today, Amelia said to me that "Daddy likes to watch movies all the time." which is not entirely untrue. More unplugging, playing with the gazillion toys in the house. Less tush time.

3. Stop hiding behind my computer and GET OUT.
I started doing this in 2014. Just a few things - book club, crochet/knitting meetings. But I need to do it at work too. More discussions and less IMing/emailing.

4. Take at least one family camping trip.
This is more for Ken & Kieran than for me. If there is one spider in the tent, I am sleeping in the car.

Now onto what the hell happened in December.

Great holidays with family. Grandma came to town and stayed for almost 2 weeks. Kids loved it. Lots of snacks in the house (still).

Mia got a lot of LEGOs from Santa (as requested) and Kirean got a MiP that somehow keeps eating batteries, making it not nearly as fun to play with. He also got a lot of triathalon stuff from us.

Kieran and Amelia are doing great with their swim lessons (I no longer need to go into the pool - Yay!) with Kieran focusing on getting ready for his first ever triathalon this year.

Ken still owes me a trip to Aggio, but I'll settle for a group outing to Family Meal (though I think he'll have to win a big case before we can afford that). We did at least get to see the last Hobbit movie in the theater, so that was a treat.

Mia continues to do well at daycare, though lately she's slipped into "Don't go mommy" mode each morning. Not crying, just clingy. The teachers do a great job of distracting her and I slip away (mostly) unnoticed.

Kieran's birthday is 3 days away (gulp). As we plan nothing (good thing that's not on my resolutions list to fix...) we have his party slated for February 8 at a nearby indoor water park. We'll all go as a family this weekend, though. I realized that Kieran will actually be closer to getting his learners permit than to his birth on Saturday. Damn.

Nightmares

Kieran has nightmares. What kid doesn't? I think Mia's been having a few but can't really express that just yet.

This morning, Ken was away and I had already taken my shower and was getting dressed when I heard a knock on my door. Kieran came in and said he'd had another nightmare.

Sat down with him on the bed, asked if he wanted to tell me about it. Nodded, he did.

"We were walking to school and you and I were talking about how monsters weren't real."

I nodded.

"Then I asked - well, what about the guy who comes to my school and hypnotises us? You said - oh him? He's real."

Hypnotizes? Weird, but okay.... I ask about this. Kieran says, yes the guy looked like a zombie and used a pocketwatch to hypnotize his school so the kids would hit one another.

We talk for a bit about why nightmares happen (worried about stuff). Also I told him that if I were going to hynpotize his school, I'd have them come help us clean house. Then I realize that's a lot of people and my house can't hold them all. So I say maybe just his class, not the whole school.

Which makes him laugh.

After talking about being stressed out, it comes out he is worried because of something that happened last week. He was walking up the stairs and witnessed a bullying of another student. Two older students then turned to Kieran and told Kieran to hit the kid they were bullying. Instead, Kieran hit one of the older kids and raced up the steps.

We talked about why this was not his best choice, what other options he had. But all-in-all I'm not upset or angry with him. He did not hit out of anger, he did not beat upon this kid, just panicked, hit and ran. I sent an email to his teacher about this, beacuse I wanted someone at the school to be aware. I don't really want Kieran getting in trouble for this. It was not the best decision but it was the one he chose. He doesn't know the other kids and it may never have come back around on him, but I felt it was important to be upfront with the school about it, partially as a precautionary and partially as a lesson to always let the adults know about any bullying you witness.

I am hoping that he does OK today. He complained that he didn't want to go to school - that he had a headache, that his hand hurt, etc. He's definitely worried. Poor kid.

Convoluted, but (Somewhat) Effective

So long since I had any time to post. Sorry about that. Following up from previous post....

Kieran had a one-day out-of-school suspension (a very big deal, permanent record crap) and we cleaned house. All. Day. Long. Oh, and he had school work to do when he wasn't cleaning. He did not like it (which, of course, was the point).

Last year after a run of bad days at school, they implemented a point system for him where he could earn a variety of things as he hit different 'levels' he could earn points, but not have them taken away. So we talked a lot about instituting a similar system at home.

Kieran kept trying to add rules and ideas to it. His complete program was some kind of weird looking Escher painting (but in flowchart form, if I had bothered to flowchart it at all). I scaled back from what he wanted to do and came up with the following:

Green is worth one point, everything above that has additional points to it up to 5 points each day. Going below green puts him at negative points up to negative 5. He can also earn additional points each day for his magnet chart. 3 magnets equals one point (are you following all this?). Ability to receive up to 2 additional poitns via magnets each day.

He can earn prizes in three different ways.
1. Daily or weekly he has to hit a certain level to be able to do specific things. Daily - 3 points to get dessert or an extra book at bedtime. 5 points and he can have both. 10 points earned during the week gets him into the bag of mystery at the end of the week.

2. Levels - we set up specific levels for him to reach to get certain priviledges. 50 points was earning his Pokemon cards back, for example.

3. Buy with points - he also wanted to be able to 'cash in' his points for special things. A trip to a local dessert place, a toy of his choosing, etc. He just took advantage of his first 'buy with points' item to buy Snackeez for him and his sister.

So far, it's done fairly well. He's still having some issues with control and we're working to find another therapist for him. But his general demeanor has been better and he and I are getting along better as well.

Soon, I should have some fun Halloween photos for you. This past month has been insane with the number of things going on. I am looking forward to the holiday slowdown.

Where's the Respect?

I'm writing this because I am freaking out (yet again) about Kieran's behavior. Yesterday was horrid. Partially his issue, partially mine. I got so angry with him that I spanked him, hard. Just once but I hated it.

His disrespect for me is off the charts. Ignoring me, playing around, unable to control himself.

Now, today, I got a call from the principal. First one this year, so yay for that. But....

Yesterday, he was chanting "I'm gonna touch your privates" then proceeded to touch other kids' (yes, plural) in their privates. One was a girl, the other a boy who just did it right back to him. He is aware that he is not to be touching anyone else's privates. He's now due for either a 5 day in-school detention or a one-day suspension. If he touches anyone else again like that, he could be in for a long-term suspsension. I don't think he understands just how serious this could be. Life affecting serious. I'm also of half a mind to ask for leniency with the school, but I don't know how well it would go over given his history of not keeping his hands to himself. And showing his butt to others in the bathroom.

I told the principal to have Kieran talk with the school therapist again, and that Ken and I will address this with him at home. He was going to therapy, I thought he was done, but obviously he is not. Unsure where we'll turn at this point given his therapist moved somewhere else and I'm not sure he'd open up to anyone new.

Just upset and frustrated and wondering if my grandparents are looking down at this and laughing their asses off. Because while I was not a violent kid, generally speaking, I did have a temper and I did things that made sense to me at the time that now, as an adult, I cringe to know I did.

I'm getting some books from the library that I hope will help as well and talking with other parents who may have dealt with issues similar to this. At my wits end today and continue to hope that we can turn a corner. I don't want to medicate my kid. I really don't. I'm giving serious consideration to removing 99% of TV/screen time from him and his sister as well as trying to eliminate sugar from his diet (the second is ridiculously difficult, especially given what he eats).

Not even sure what the at-home punishment for this will be. It ain't gonna pretty in the Gauvey household for a while.

And with that thought, I'm done.

Fart Land - Part 2

So Kieran had been begging me for Adventures in Fart Land Part Two and it took me a bit to noodle on where we could go from the first part of the story. I promised him that I would write all the parts down in case he ever wanted to share these stories with his own kids one day. He also gave our characters names.

Mikie, Mike and Micki are our Fart Land inhabitants. They promised not to fart in Fart Land to make it smell better but soon realized that, eventually, everyone needs to fart. Not wanting to let their friends down, they would fart inside things and seal them up - like buckets or holes in the ground.

Then Mikie needs to go to the beach and grabs a bucket to make a sandcastle. UGH, the smell is horrible when he pulls off the lid. Fart Land overall still smells OK but a little bit worse.

Mike begins digging a hole for a tree he wants to plant and hits a fart pocket. Blech! Fart Land begins to smell even worse.

Then, poor Micki, she went to find something in a shed out back and WHAM, the last of the pent-up farts are released and Fart Land once again smells of farts.

End of part 2.

I do hope you all are enjoying this boy-centric saga as much as Kieran is. He also has suggested that people from Fart Land come to visit us in 'this dimension' and when they fart, it explodes from their tushes and causes trees to fall over dead. Oh, 7-year-old boy humor. How I've missed you.... :)

Love to all, blog again sometime.


PS - Mia does not know the Fart Land saga, she continues to request princess stories. And demands everything she owns to be pink or purple. *sigh*